Sometimes life has disappointments.  I experienced that once again last night.  Its hard to remember how badly disappointments hurt until another one happens.  and, its hard to not get disappointed in the first place.  You try to tell yourself that its not going to happen, that your not going to win,even though you secretly are sure that it will.  It makes me think, "what do people think of me? or what don't they think of me?"  I wanted this thing pretty badly to be honest with you.  I shed a few tears over this.  But did i even bother to pray about it? Noooo. So maybe i need to stop thinking about what i want, and focus instead on what God wants.  my prayer to Him is something like this:
Lord, help me to learn from this, and help me to not be thinking on this unless it is to help me learn.  Help me to focus on what You want, not what i want.

~Kiara